Grandpa, You Don’t Know the Half of It

I sit at a table in the cafe where I work, scribbling away at a French grammar worksheet because it’s my day off, a day designated to homework (and a sleep-in).

I’d just had lunch with my mum, and I decided to stay and continue my homework with a latte chain going on. My grandpa eats there every day except for weekends, and he was sitting at another table with a guest. A while later, he came over to my table and asked if I wanted anything (even though I’d just had lunch and a cheesecake with mum). I settled on another coffee – which he got for free thanks to his saved stash of customer loyalty cards – and for the duration of that drink we were chatting about his accounting days and the old cricket team. Then, seemingly out of the blue, Pa told me about a Youtube video someone sent him that he found inexplicably entertaining:

“It’s an Evian commercial, the water,” he tells me, “and a man walks up to a window and sees a baby instead of his own reflection. When he moves, the baby moves. Then a woman comes up, and she sees herself as a baby. Then a negro kid. Same thing. I’ll email it to you.” I just laughed, and nodded politely. If I ever want to meet him for lunch, all I have to do is shoot him an email and he’ll reply in no more than an hour (checking his emails is the first thing he does in the morning). “So, what does a dancing baby have to do with water?” I ask. But my question is ignored, because he wanted to tell Jenny, my boss, the same story. He’s amazed that they can digitally get a baby to dance.


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