American Infomercials – A Useless Observation on the Current Programming*

“And what about croutons?”

“The fastest bruschetta ever!”

“Don’t just single slice a toe-may-toe, slice the whole thing in one action!”

“And not just one way, but eleven different ways.”

“It’s everything you’ll need to make all your favourite meals.”

“Man, your family will love it.”

 

These are some snippets I just heard from the TV. And I witnessed my mum nodding sarcastically. American infomercials are (still horrible but) better than Australian ones. The Aussie ads get planted into the middle of our breakfast shows or put on a current circuit after midnight, with a nasally guy exclaiming, in a rather scripted manner, how absolutely outstanding this offer is to buy a ladder that has 42 forms. The American ones are cheesy in an almost entertaining way, with the ladies smiling from ear to ear as they work out or slice an onion. It’s great. Really terrible, too. Maybe I should buy a vegetable slicer, so I can make a variety of interesting meals. And man, will my family love it.

 

Oh my gosh. I just found out Ferris Bueller’s on. Gotta go.

*No really. I told you this was useless. I’m sorry.

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